With a little compromise and creative budgeting, you and your spouse can stop fighting over finances.
Did you know that money related fights in a marriage are one of the most accurate precursors of an impending divorce?
Don’t go looking up the number for a divorce lawyer just yet. Even if you and your spouse frequently argue over finances, you can take these steps to help stop the money fights once and for all.
Be completely open & honest
Like everything else in your marriage the same rule applies to finances, don’t keep money secrets from your spouse. Whether you have a sneakily hidden credit card, a horrific credit score or shopping bags hidden away from a recent shopping spree, it’s time to come clean.
Let’s face it being honest about major spending mistakes or large purchases can be tough. But if you’re not honest, the money fights will keep happening and the issue won’t get resolved.
Before each of you starts laying your cards out on the table, you both need to agree to stay calm, no playing the blame game and work through these financial problems together. Then, each of you should pull a copy of your credit reports, as well as recent statements for all bank and store accounts, ALL ACCOUNTS NEED TO BE DISCLOSED!!!
This is so that you each can have a good hard look at where you are financially.
Together create a budget
Once you’ve aired out the skeletons in your respective closets, it’s now time to get on the same page. The budget you draw up doesn’t have to be an overly detailed spreadsheet that limits your spending in a crazy way. It just needs to be a simple spending plan for the coming month (or two weeks, depending on how you want to structure it) that you both agree on and stick to.
Your budget can be as detailed or as open as you like, but you should, at the very least, set limits for any spending areas that are a problem for one or the both of you. Are you spending way too much eating out each month? Set a meal budget, and stick to it. Spending more than necessary on purchases at clothing stores on personal items? Set a personal budget, and stick to that, too.
Creating a budget together can be stressful and tense, especially when you both disagree. But if you can agree as to what the end goal is, spending less than your net salary, then you can both work through disagreements to come up with a reasonable budget.
Hold budget meetings weekly
Now that you both have agreed to a budget, schedule weekly budget meetings. These meetings need to take place when you’re not too tired or distracted, like maybe on a Friday night over a bottle of wine or over coffee and a muffin on Saturday morning. In any respect they should become a routine part of your life.
Bare in mind budget meetings don’t have to take long at all, once the ground work is laid there really isn’t that much to talk about. They’re simply a time to touch base on your spending routines and see if you’re staying on track, as a couple. Use these meetings to adjust your budget if needed and to talk about any financial concerns you may have.
Budget meetings are not date nights, so don’t treat it as such, to do so will ruin your time together. They are simply held to help head off financial fights before they begin. By simply talking about your money matters regularly when you’re both relaxed and not distracted, you avoid fights that could potentially pop up when a financial crisis occurs. Your both prepared, and you both know where your finances are at, so you will be able to easily adapt and change where needed without lashing out at each other in frustration.
Allow for personal spending
Let’s not kid ourselves often money represents power in a relationship, therefore each spouse needs to feel that he or she has some power over your joint funds. If one spouse is doing all of the budgeting and spending, the other is most likely going to feel left out and frustrated.
Regular budget meetings and a joint budget can help eliminate this issue, another step – allowing for personal spending – helps ensure that both spouses have financial power in the relationship.
Create a financial plan together that allows each partner some spending room. Some couples agree that each spouse can make a purchase of up to a maximum of RX without consulting the other. Other couples incorporate a allowance system/pocket money whereby each partner gets a set amount of cash to spend each month, no questions asked. Either option gives both spouses financial power and the freedom to spend money on whatever they see fit, be it on their hobbies, personal items or entertainment.
Tackling money goals as a team
Whatever you’re monetary goals are, working together towards them builds a sense of teamwork in your marriage. This teamwork can help end financial fights before they even start and may even rub off into other areas of your marriage.
Oyisa United Debt Specialists is therefore committed to assisting consumers struggling to make their debt repayments and facing financial difficulties, to solve their debt problems and empower them to take back control over their financial situation.